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If it moves it's biology. if it stinks it's chemistry. if it doesn't work it's physics

I was normal three kids ago

Eat Pasta Run Fasta

My head says gym but my heart says tacos

Mom's favorite

Time to wine down

I'm not a gynecologist but I'll take a look

Certified muff diving instructor

I love sluts

Fluffer

Teacher

Whiskey business

Anything you can do I can do drunker

I'm a little too hungover to figure this one out right now

Gymaholic

I would flex but I like this shirt

Influencing young minds

Difference maker

Reading my shirt is the same thing as swiping right

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone i find attractive

Halloween shirt

There's no need to repeat yourself{{--}}I ignored you just fine the first time

I don't hate you{{--}}I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence

I wish more people were fluent in silent.

Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots.

I would like to confirm that I do not care

Feed your own ego,{{--}}I'm busy

No thank you

It's a beautiful day to leave me alone

Trouble maker

No new friends

I don't know you.

Back in my day we had nine planets

I'm a rocket scientist

I'd tell a joke{{--}}about nobel gases but it wouldn't get{{--}}a reaction

Do I know any jokes about sodium?{{--}}Na

I climb rocks

Adventurer

Mutant

I run like the winded

I'd rather be running

Ew, people

Yes, I am left-handed No, I'm not artistic

Scientist

God Bless the USA

That's a horrible idea What time?

My relationship with whiskey is on the rocks

social media star

You look like I need a drink

The best decision you have ever made

I said yes

Sparkling{{--}}or still?

strip club bros.

best stepdad ever

best stepmom ever

Lost an electron? You really have to keep an ion them.

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