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You matter.{{--}}Until you multiply yourself times{{--}}the speed of light squared.{{--}}Then you Energy.

The awkward moment when you finish a math problem and your answer isn't even one of the choices

Listen I still want to be invited but I'm not coming

Surely nothing could be{{--}}that funny

Trust no man Fear no bitch

Sky above Earth below Peace within

See you in savasana

I said no{{--}}to alcohol but it just doesn't listen

Happy hour{{--}}is the{{--}}best hour

You bring the alcohol I'll bring the bad decisions

Just cruisin'

Oh ship



Hola Beaches

Travel Buddies

On Cruise Control

Vacay Mode

Girl's trip

Less thinkee more drinkee

Exercise makes you look better naked So does wine. Your choice.

You say alcoholism I say liver crossfit

Save water. Drink wine.

Candy is Dandy but liquor is quicker

It's my birthday

Happy birthday

I'm pretty sure being friends with you is bad for my liver.

Surprise I'm Drunk

I doubt vodka is the answer but it's worth a shot

It's beginning to look a lot like cocktails

What am I getting for Christmas? Drunk. I'm getting fucking drunk.

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

I used to hate math then I realized decimals have a point

I wasn't planning{{--}}on going for a{{--}}run today, But those cops came{{--}}out of nowhere

Exercise or Extra Fries?

My stomach is Flat The L is just silent

Bad dads club

Amazing Mom

Amazing Dad

My squad calls me mama

Drinking around the world

Left handed right minded

I'm left-handed What's your superpower?

Of course I'm right I'm a lefty

I may be left-handed but I'm always right

I'm left-handed and your scissors suck


It won't{{--}}suck itself

Feels so good when the cum comes out

Let me sneeze inside of you

Blow me{{--}}and see what I produce

Shut up and fuck off

Fuck off

Friction is a drag

Pizza rolls not gender rolls

You know what's odd? Every other number

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